"Oh my gosh, the way Greg Studley wrestled the rabid kangaroo to the ground in the middle of the show was just so impressive. My Mom was so excited, she gave her garage door opener to Greg Studley at the end of the night. Later on, I asked her why she gave the garage door opener to Greg and she said the batteries were low, and he's such a nice guy he said he would replace them and drop it off later.

"Sometimes when I go to a restaurant, or a bar, or a comedy show, when the bartender asks me "What would you like, sir?", I reply with "I don't know, what you like?" I dunno, it's a thing I guess. Did you know the hand dryer in the bathroom can blow around little turd germs?"

"My friends and I love Greg Studley so much. He's so wonderful to us. At the last show, he stopped the show and had the manager bring me and all of my friends Espresso Martini tasters. He's such a good boy. One of my friends is a personal trainer and she likes him so much, she wants to help him with his diet. He must have been eating a powdered donut before the show or something, cause I think he had a little of it in his mustache."